The Power of Forgiveness

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
- Malachy McCourt.

Engaging in a spiritual life involves continually looking for opportunities to clarify and purify and let go of what holds us back from truly being "in-spirit". Perhaps the strongest element of interference there can be along our spiritual path is non-forgiveness, that is, holding on to grievances and anger about things that have happened in the past. Non-forgiveness is essentially a process of judgment and not being able to accept what has happened.

Not only does resentment keep us from being the fully loving beings we are meant to be, but it can also affect our health. In a 1999 study at Hope College, research showed that when subjects remembered past negative events their blood pressure, heart rates, and muscle tensions were higher when in unforgiving conditions than in forgiving conditions.

Everett Worthington, executive director of "A Campaign for Forgiveness Research", an organization that funds forgiveness research, was quoted in the October 23, 2005 issue of USA Today saying, "Chronic unforgiveness causes stress. Every time people think of their transgressor, their body responds. "He goes on to say that chronic stress affects the immune and cardiovascular systems. Forgiveness reduces stress by replacing negative emotions with positive ones.

At Stanford University Dr. Fred Luskin leads The Stanford Forgiveness Project. In this program they are showing that forgiveness can be taught with measurable results. In one study, 17 adults on both sides who had experienced personal tragedy in the violence in Northern Ireland were brought together for a forgiveness training. Following the training, participants reported 37% less feelings of hurt and 35% fewer physical symptoms.

Forgiveness is a powerful element of connection and deeper relationships. In families long-standing alienations can be dissolved in a moment of forgiveness and the possibility of unconditional love and acceptance is created. Consider whether it is worth holding on to some petty grievance just so you can be right while you withhold affection from someone you truly care about in the larger scheme of things. What kind of person do you want to be?

Many people hold the belief that there are some transgressions that are simply unforgivable. It is true that if you were hurt by a heinous act that it seems it would be impossible and even wrong in some way to forgive the transgressor as if the harm committed by the act didn't matter. But, forgiveness does not mean condoning the act or that appropriate punishment should not be applied. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to communicate or have any relationship with the person who hurt you if that is not your choice. Forgiveness is not for the transgressor. Forgiveness is for you. As long as you don't forgive, you are the one who suffers and the transgressor continues to hold power over you. Once you forgive, you free yourself to experience life fully and powerfully as a loving human being.

How do you forgive? There are several different methods offered by forgiveness experts but one very effective method was developed by Dr. M. T. Morter, an Arkansas chiropractor and founder of Morter Health Systems. His forgiveness exercise is outlined in his books, The Soul Purpose, and Dynamic Health. Often forgiveness is not easy but it starts with an intention to do so. Once you have the intention, begin reading about forgiveness, immerse yourself in the idea and embrace the positive effects you will gain in your own life by practicing forgiveness. Practice forgiving in the present moment, in a moment of anger or disappointment as it happens. With continued practice it becomes a habit and over time there will be fewer and fewer incidents in your life that seem to require forgiveness as you become more and more accepting of yourself and others. Not only will this move you forward on your spiritual path, but your health and well-being will benefit as well.

© 2006, Davis Virtual Assistance. This article may not be reprinted or copied on any type of media either in part or in whole.

Dina Crawford is a personal life coach, seminar leader and writer. For more information visit http://www.wingsofawareness.com.